It always irks me when someone gets unreasonably upset and starting acting like a child (silent treatment is childish behavior, not to mention unhealthy and toxic to a relationship) when they don't get their wants placed over your needs.

I can kind of understand that he wants to share the moment with his mom, but to be upset that you don't wish to do so is completely disregarding exactly what is taking place and what you are doing. I absolutely adore my mother in law, but there is no way in hell that she would ever be allowed to set foot in the delivery room. Period. It's not her place, nor is it even his, to even think of suggesting it.

Your husband needs to understand that no, it's not fair. Nothing about this whole situation is going to be fair. If it was, he would handle some of the pain and risk that comes with it. He would spend about half the time pushing the baby out. Based on that, since it's not his body, it's not his call. To even think to question that is to claim he has any right to your body autonomy and that is crossing into a controlling and manipulating behavior and that is abusive.

I either have to give in. Or have my husband resent me.

Or you could go with the third option and call him and her out on their bullshit. Ask them straight up if you have a right over your body or not. If their want to be in the room is more important than your right to say who sees your body in it's most vulnerable moment. If their fantasy to have a "bonding" experience of standing there and watching you go through a traumatizing, painful, and potentially dangerous situation is worth the absolute disregard for your need of comfort, safety, and what little choice you have left in what happens with your body.

Honestly, you have every single reason in the world to be absolutely livid and pissed off. You are not being supported by either of them for extremely selfish and self serving reasons. The fact that she is a mother and has given birth makes it all that much more worse. Personally, and I'm not saying you need to or should do this, but if my husband pulled this stunt on me and then tried to emotionally manipulate me into compliance with turning my body and my birth into a spectator sport, I would NOT allow even him to be in the room. If you can't support me then get the fuck out.

No this is not fair. This isn't even about them. They are not giving birth, they are only there watching. To even think they get a say is infuriating and it's violating. I honestly think you need to get an outside mediator like a counselor on this immediately, because what he is trying to push you into, not ask, but push and manipulate you into is absolutely wrong and could potentially kill you marriage.

And thanks MIL for being the driving wedge between your son and his wife. Hope that woman is real proud of herself.