It took so long to get to a point where I no longer believed Baha'u'llah was God's messenger, and when I suddenly got there it was clear as day and felt like the delusion suddenly went away, and I was so upset about all the time I'd spent worried about his laws and opinions and trying to be perfect.

Another point of view: it reads to me like that is more a kind of pyschology (personal) that has shifted, a way of perceiving and relating through the specific forms of service structured in community life, distinct from the the status of Baha'u'llah and content of what is in the writings themselves?

I have struggled with and through something similar, necessarily making a painstaking distinction and separating out elements psychologically to regain a clarity as to what issues are 'mine' and what is being said and called for in the writings, in relation to Baha'i. The pressure to perform and be "perfect" is on us and produced through our own perception (and perpetuated in the community in varying and sometimes invisible ways), in relation to what Baha'u'llah is teaching and calling humanity to. A kind of psychological set perhaps that can, yes, be harmful and misleading.

The humility you speak of is present amongst the Baha'i's also, and a recognition that we are all dealing with the inherent flaws of temporal, human existence and psychology. There are varaiances in how this is expressed and represented in communities. Tolerance and a deepened compassion and understanding is encouraged and appealed to as necessary qualities to develop. This is a common set of qualities encouraged by many religions, not exlcusively Christianity.

No offence intended, I'm just offering another point of view on your comments here, not criticism or argument for the sake of that alone. Your experience and perception and conclusion have validity.