I had a similar reaction when I first saw this video, to be honest: he's being too nice about. Like, she's ready to make it into a self-deprecating joke and take the piss and he comes in with, a "but you're still beautiful to me" attitude. Even beyond taking the piss at herself, she's also trying to actively shock him, as if it's a prank. Making jokes can be empowering, and a way to assert normalcy and control over what otherwise might feel embarrassing. That's a perfectly valid way to deal with it. But then if someone comes in and rejects your self-deprecation, and instead turns you into an object of a pity, it has the exact opposite intended effect of asserting normalcy and control, and it can be a real turn off.

I don't think the guy's an asshole or did anything wrong by any means. But people are allowed to not love a person for any reason - and when pressed to provide a reason, most of the time what people are going to say is going to sound insufficient. But even beyond the fact that any explanation is going to sound insufficient, in this case I can one hundred percent relate to how his reaction would have been an active turn off.

I've been in similar situations where I'm making self-deprecating jokes and a person who's attracted to me tries to take the opportunity to "treat me the way I deserve" or whatever the fuck, and try to reject the self-deprecation. And it just makes me feel like, first of all that's lame as fuck. And also, I genuinely feel lots of positive things about myself and I really don't need you to boost my self esteem. I'm not a pitiful self-hating wretch in need of saving, I'm just making a joke.

So what did she want him to say instead? She probably was expecting to get a big reaction out of him, like "what the fuck!?" That's kind of clear with what she says about it. But he could have picked up the hints that she was trying to make it into a joke and not make it into a big emotional deal. If you watch the whole segment, the editing is super manipulative (as it always is in reality tv) by intercutting interview footage to add a completely different story to a scene than might have actually been there. In her interview in the spliced-in bits, she goes into detail about bullying in school and her difficulty with her hair now and gets a bit emotional. If you watch that version, it's easy to believe that her spliced-in solo-interview bits is the subtextual emotional reality that's going on with her during this date. But she's clearly not in that place with him on this date: she's totally confident about herself and clearly just there to have some fun, not spill all her emotional baggage. And why would she be: she's just meeting him for the first time, there isn't enough trust there to go to that level. Instead, he's (unintentionally) making her feel pitiful about something that she just wanted to have a laugh about.

Maybe her saying that he's "too nice" is just a failure of language to describe what's going on here. On the other hand, there is totally such a thing as being too nice. In this case, it looks like swooping in like you're going to be someone's savior when that's not what they want.