I disagree with your use of the word "legitimate" to describe the situation surrounding how you perceive women are treated in tech. I assume you're referring to the general perceived culture of tech and engineering: Male-dominated with a lot of awful sex jokes and "inappropriate" euphemisms. Yes? If so, the behavior towards women isn't "towards women". It's towards everyone. Problems arise when more women enter the field and aren't accustomed to this behavior. They're offended or uncomfortable. So, now we have some questions to address:
I work in tech and, coincidentally, I work with a lot of women. To give you some numbers, we have two teams who work side-by-side. My team is ~12 people. The other team is ~15. My team has 2 women and the other team has 10 women. So, that's 44% women combined across both.
The women's mouths are just as filthy as the men's. Everyone gets along and everyone respects one another. We hire people, men and women, based on our culture and how we perceive them to fit in. I think this is an excellent practice and, so far, has worked very well for us.
Where I see a problem is with the drive to seek out and hire women, specifically. It's essentially diversity for the sake of diversity, rather than merit, talent, and skill. The side effect to this is that there are a lot of women who wouldn't normally be in these fields if it weren't for the incentives and so they tend not to mesh with the culture. The women who are passionate and interested and driven are accepted and usually do extremely well, often outperforming the men. This comes into any thread that discusses the women-in-STEM phenomenon. Invariably, many women chime in themselves to shut down the notion of this weird situation you were alluding to in your post.
Edit: Spelling