The way I see it, and the way my religion sees it, is that human sexuality has been given a bad rap. It is part of us. It is something we share with the other creatures deemed "good" by God. Like eating, sleeping, and exercise, it has times and situations where it is most appropriate. (Obligatory note: I'm not here to tell you that homosexuality is evil) Talking seriously about sexuality in Western culture, especially in christian culture, is generally taboo. This can amplify the shame and mystery around it. Sex and the desire to have sex is not evil in itself. They have times and situations where they not just not-evil, but beautiful! Sex is a beautiful part of our messy, mortal lives! While I see sexually-based addictions as real problems and see many sexual acts as sinful, I see sinful consensual/solitary acts as "sins of the flesh" that tarnish our relationship with God just a little each time. It is important to not let those sins build up before coming back to Him, and we need to make efforts to reduce such sins. But they are not hopelessly damning. I hope that you are able to feel your anger at yourself and the beliefs you have been upholding, let that anger pass away, and to calmly reflect on what is good. Let that guide you.

I hope this helps.