My dad is the most calm and understanding person I know. He never raises his voice, he approaches conflict calm and reasonable. He’s always there for his kids and grandchild. He will break his back to help us in times of need. Unless he’s using. He got strung out a few years ago, I was young and had a newborn, mom was in prison, I lived with my emotionally abusive grandparents and boyfriend at the time. He left me on read for 3 months, every time I’d message him he’d read it and not answer. I called him he wouldn’t answer, called him from another phone and he answered, only to hang up when I said “hi dad”. When he uses he is a piece of shit. He does things that are unimaginable when you know how he is when he’s sober. I don’t feel bad for him choosing that life (he’s sober now, both my parents are) but I felt bad knowing that it wasn’t really him. I felt bad knowing so many people knew him as a thug and a junkie when in reality he’s the most caring person I know. Last time he got strung out he got in my face in an argument and that shocked the hell outta me, he had never done such a thing. I feel bad that he ever got to that point, I feel bad that his family had to witness him like that, I felt bad that his life had become what it was, I felt bad that the man we all knew was not that man anymore. I felt bad knowing he was stuck in a vicious cycle and felt he couldn’t escape. You don’t have to feel bad for them, but you should always remember they are people too.