Dude, your prefrontal cortex isn’t even fully developed till 25 which has to do with impulse control. In other words you are very impulsive till 25. Take a step back go workout and focus on yourself. Maybe look for marriage prospects with the help of family and friends. This is almost the same as saying, “I want to go to heaven, so I’ll just un-alive myself so I get there quicker.” It doesn’t work like that.. you have to live life and you will be tested. Just take a step back. I can say with high likelihood that if you go through with this you will regret it every second of your life. Your sex drive is also a blessing and you don’t wanna turn down a blessing Allah has bestowed upon you. Just chill my brother. You sound like a good kid, ask your creator for help and just take a step back.