Long story......Well my fiances dad is like Mr. Roger's, and his mom was very NPD and abusive, his brother was the golden boy, and my fiance got the brunt of both mental and physical abuse. He never even questioned his dad's silence until I brought it up. He mentions one time his dad spoke up.....I love his dad, he had a very hard upbringing so I almost understand........my parents though are a different story, my dad NPD, and my mom I used to think was more bpd, but I've realized is NPD first w bpd......my mom seperated from my dad when I was about 6. She was an immigrant to this country w really no support. So she had 3 kids to raise alone. So I became as the youngest oddly the kid that looked after her and everyone.....during this time my dad was far removed, scary when he called or showed up, but as I grew up he did decent things like help w my college tuition, but he always had to be in control. There was never a time I saw him that I felt at ease. He was very hard to deal with.....but as I got older I realized exactly how much my mom really hurt and affected him. She's cold. She's ice. He was npd but he felt in a way she isn't capable....as my dad got older and had health issues I was there for him. My cluster b siblings literally told me to let him die when I took him to the hospital w heart failure.....when I took him out of the hospital that time everything changed.....he turned his abuse off like a lightbulb....he completely changed how he talked to me, his mission I think was to make sure I felt cared about like I'd never been. Up until his death the other year he truly cared about what would happen to me, he knew I suffered a lot from all of it and had cptsd....he wasn't normal in any way but it will always be a blessing to me that he turned around in the end