Yes, I can totally relate. When I dress up 'girly' the best indicator of whether I pass or not is if guys find me attractive. So I've been dressing with that in mind, to make myself most attractive for men. After a while its morphed into this desire to completely convince a guy that I'm a real woman. I've bought perfumes, wigs, nails, heels, etc... to reach that goal. A few years ago I ventured out to a gay bar with my girlfriend. I got all dolled up, the whole nine yards. I got into a habit of checking out guys and getting into girl-talk mode with my GF. We'd talk about how cute guys were and so on. It got to the point to where she said she'd be open to a 'rendezvous', but she'd get kinda uncomfortable if I dragged that convo out for too long. Anyway, we're at this bar checking out the dancers and the other men while acting super 'Sex in the City-ish' and a couple of guys approach us and buy us drinks and flirt and it was seriously one of the best times i had ever felt dressed up. At the time I used to encourage my GF to flirt with other guys, thinking that if she did then I could potentially do it too. Anyway, I was flirting hard with this guy. Laughing, shyly brushing the hair out of my face. My GF got super jealous/uncomfortable and she dragged me to the bathroom and we got into a small fight and she said that she wanted to go home. I really didn't want to go home! Whatever I was feeling that night was the feeling I had been pursuing everytime I dressed up. So i convinced her that I didn't think the guy I was talking to was cute (which was a lie!) and that I just wanted to finish my drink and say bye to the guys. Plus, i told her the guy she was talking to was a super cutie and she admitted that she felt the same. So i told her that she could flirt with him a take it up a notch. That I wouldn't mind, in fact I encouraged it.
We left the bathroom back to the bar and the guys were still there. My gf clung to this guy and i started getting jealous, but i asked for it so i let happen b/c that was the only way that I'd be able to stay at the bar. We ordered more drinks and then i see the guy she's talking to keep pressing up against her while shes facing him. She didn't push him away, which kind of pissed me off. But I reasoned that as long as she was occupied she couldn't interrupt what I was doing. And if she escalated her flirting then i assumed that i could too. So I did. The bar was getting crowded and so the guy I was talking got really close to me, in fact he would 'accidentally' bump into me every time ppl would walk by. My gf was now practically in this guy's arm and they were just all smiles.. Anyway, to cut to the chase the four of us went back to one of the guys' apartments. My girlfriend needed to use the bathroom, so this guy shows her where it is and they don't come back. At that point i was freaking out a little. I was drunk and in these short heels and with hesitation and regret I go looking for my GF of four years in this strange apartment.
I storm down the hallway to a door and its locked. I knock on it and she opens the door as if I'm bothering her. Anyway I told the guys that we need to leave. My GF was mad at me, only because I think she didn't want me to be mad at her, so she blamed me for wanting to hang out with these guys in the first place.
When we got home she told me some more details that I can't post here because its nsfw. Anyway, we eventually hungout with those two guys again!
EDIT: took some stuff out so its not NSFW