That's not true. There is nothing so annoying, sustained or bad that you could have done that isn't going to make you hurting yourself the WORST THING EVER. Every mistake can be fixed. Tomorrow is always another day. Suicide though? It takes away any options or chances for something better. Believe me when I tell you, killing yourself is the worst thing that you could ever do to those who love you. Ever. There's no taking it back and everyone will be plagued by guilt and 'what ifs' until they die. If you have any love for those around you, any at all, you won't do it. Suicide makes a train wreck of someone's life, it's hell. Put the alcohol down, throw that noose far far away, and go take a long walk. A very long walk. Clarify stuff in your head. Breathe deeply and just walk. Kick stuff. Cry if you want to. Go look at something pretty or just unusual. You are not thinking clearly right now. I drink too much and know from experience that you're in the 'wallowing' phase. It's not going to improve your critical thinking ability. That phase makes monsters out of shadows. Go take a shower/bath, get clean clothes on, and take a walk. Clear your head. And call somebody, and tell the truth about how you're feeling.