There is absolutely no reason what so ever to go through with whatever thoughts you have of ending this. The idea of losing someone is really hard to wrap your head around. Start doing that with your family and you're going to be in a pretty dark place. This is going to sound weird but honestly I've found the more I thought about it the better it got. In some ways it's a good exercise to go through these thoughts from time to time. I had a freakout like what you're describing in 1B and since then I've never been closer with my family. I've been in contact with my parents more often now, I do hand made cards for their birthdays, I call on weekends. Things I very rarely did before. And you know what? I'm so happy I did have those thoughts cause otherwise I'm pretty sure I would've ended up as one of those lousy sons that ignore their parents.

So, DO think over how much you love your family. Recognize how important they are from you. But DO NOT let your thoughts about losing them fester and catalyze any others negative feelings (pressure from school, pressure to be social, pressure to have a gf/bf) and cause you do to something stupid and irreversible. We're so young right now and everything we feel is so much more intense than it will be later on because we're still discovering a lot to consider.

Lastly, Reddit especially this subreddit can be pretty toxic. People love to meme about this stuff so this is a pretty dangerous post. So far it seems like you've got some good advice but I'd consider removing this. It's a matter of when not if you'll get a 1A troll on here spewing something he thinks is funny. If you want to to chat or have something to get off your chest feel free to message me and we can talk. I'm on coop and have the night free : )

Stay strong man