I am 40 and I have been living with bipolar depression and anxiety (and a bit of borderline personality disorder) since puberty, but it was only last year that I got an official diagnosis. I always brushed it off as being moody, but I had no idea how it was really dragging my life down all these years. It has affected my relationships far more than I had realized. Had I known I would be like this 20+ years later, I would have done many things differently.
If I can do one thing positive for you, it is to tell you to get help. Real, professional help. Talk to someone. Not friends or family, but a therapist or psychiatrist. Even if those close to you are sympathetic, they do not know what it is like to have mental health issues. It is a foreign concept for most people to have to try as hard as they can to be happy, or to even have the energy (mental or physical) to get out of bed every morning. As helpful as they may try to be, their advice will be generic and come off feeling hollow. Friends and family are better for leaning on when you need that helping hand on the bad days. My wife tried to push essential oils on me, and all it did succeed in making me smell good. Try getting on some medication too. It took me 4 or 5 different medications before I found one that not only worked, but did not also have really crappy side effects. If the route seems easy, it will likely not be good enough. Try not to go the St Johns wort or herbal/vitamin path either. If you as as hurting as I think you are, you need a serious jumpstart into getting your life on a better track. That herbal route had a very marginal effect for me.
It took 6 months of therapy before I even started seeing a difference. However, I won't lie; there is no magical cure. These kinds of problems really don't completely vanish, but it all boil down to your ability to cope. With proper help, bad days will not feel like you are crossing a mountain with no gear, but instead walking across a long and slightly unstable rope bridge. Bad days don't go away, but they do get easier. And like the remedies I was talking about above, the easy way is generally not the better path. Don't drink or fall into any habits. Even good habits can have a downside. Finding a comfort zone is great for the bad days, but once you start falling back on your comfort zone too often. You will never want to leave, making the cycle repeat and get much worse. For a good 7 or so years I was a World of Warcraft addict. My playtime was not in hours or even weeks, but in years. I spent well over a year of my life logged in and escaping my problems in a video game. There were some positives to it, but the negatives outweigh them.
You need to make some real effort into getting your shit straightened out. I do not mean that in a bad way, but instead more of a wakeup call. I wish I would have had one earlier in life. For a long time I fooled myself into thinking I was OK, when in reality, I was not. If you do not want to get better, and do not put in the effort, it will not happen.
TL;DR - Get serious help. However, if you or anyone else in this subreddit wants to talk, or vent, or need a shoulder to lean on, feel free to message me. I am usually online most of the day. I am also on skype for something more real than just swapping text messages. The offer is there if anyone needs it.