This is a long post, so I forgive you if you don’t read it all, lol.

So I had a weird dream last night, and it honestly really made me sad for her kids. Especially the two oldest and the forgotten middle kids. Anyways, my dream was that Jordan was my stepmom and all the kids were my half siblings. I’m the oldest of 9 already, so I was back at the age I was when my youngest brother was born, 16. Whenever I was there, Jordan expected me to not only help take care of the kids, but also help her with the overload of work stuff she didn’t feel like doing (like begging for affiliate codes and printing mailing labels for all of her neighbors to send BBC and PBC postcards). Most of my dream her and I guess my dad? left for some kind of event. Since I was old enough, they decided to leave me alone to take care of the kids while they were gone. I’ve done this before in real life (not often and I was paid a lot for it at the time) so I wasn’t too phased by it. But I ended up actually making decent food for the kids and sitting and eating with them and actually conversing with them, helped them all get ready for bed, brushing the girls’ hair myself and letting H and P only need to worry about washing themselves instead of stressing about washing their siblings, building a couch fort with them to watch a movie I watched with them instead of playing on my phone and talking over, reading them books and giving each one a real hug and everyone was tucked in at bedtime. But the one big thing that stuck out to me was that the next day when Jordan and my dad (so weird) were back, they continued to ignore the kids and the kids started ignoring them back and favored me. H&P would ask me for homework help and show me their last stop motion video and paint my hand (face painting makes me break out so bad, but I’m sure P would be okay with painting my hand instead), B would ask if I could build legos with him, I’d make sparkly pink slime with D, play with Polly pockets with M (which were mine that I’d hid under my bed so Jordan didn’t throw them out), and Mac preferred having me help him potty train. We’d sit in the bathroom together and I’d talk to him while he’d babble back, we’d try m&m/jelly bean rewards, sticker charts, a fun bell to ring, and whenever he would go in the potty all of the other kids and I would celebrate him with dancing and clapping. Jordan would ignore this all until she needed to make an IG story. Would have me busy myself somewhere else while she would throw her own little party for him peeing and all the other kids were awkward about it because she made it feel ingenuine and weird. I always was the big sibling that did all of that stuff out of just wanting to hang out and love on my siblings (especially when they were little and sooo cute), but it was always with my parents as well, which made everything so much more special and meanful and I cherish my childhood because of their presence. Jordan and Bubba got so lucky having 8 beautiful and healthy children and they’re throwing it away by being selfish and negligent. I’m a nanny now, and I would love to get to hang out and play and teach her kids. I know she would be awful to work for and would probably drive me crazy, but how could you not want to celebrate each of those kids on their own? Give them real hugs and play with them without recording it? It’s really just baffling.