but I am not cold, calculating or a corpse without affection or any emotion.

This has nothing to do with lack of empathy. Lack of affection is also not a criterion.

I consider lack of empathy basically the most important defining characteristic. I have no natural empathy and that's about it. I'm likeable and charming, don't hurt people or pets, have never been caught committing a crime... There are a lot of edgy teens on Reddit misrepresenting ASPD with arbitrary lines for what does and doesn't qualify.

You may have a misunderstanding of empathy. Callousness and lack of inherent regard for others is lack of empathy, whether you express it with actions or not, although it sounds like your actions are what landed you in a shrink's office.