Aaj day time mein papa ne sunaya ki I am not doing enough to get better aur raat mein mummy ne ki I am a lazy bum. Mom to bahut bura bolti mereko lekin Papa ka ganda laga. Mene papa ko to suna diya, saala itni chronic pains hain. Unko nahin batata to unko lagta ki main bas bahane mein overstate karta. Lekin dard to kabhi khatam nahin hota, agar har jagah nahin to kuch na kuch dard karta. Kabhi kabhi do dil ka dard bhi yaad aa jata, yaad aa jaati uss ladki ki jisne mereko 5 saal pehle pagal kar diya tha. Saala har samay jhagad ke, lad ke, koshish kar kar ke thakk gaya hun. Kitna mein postive rehta, ghar mein sabka mood high rakhta, ladaiyan rok deta. Upar se kitne lifestyle changes karein. Lekin haftabhar chod diya to gaaliyan. Thoda aalas maaf karo, kitna mehnat karta mein, thodi to uski izzat do. Nothing I do will ever be enough for anyone, they all want more but they don't want to respect me for what I already do. If I was better, I would just leave everything behind, abhi to mein train pe so bhi nahin paaunga because of my back.

>Afsanay Ab Likhta Nahi Hon

>Main Duniya Ko Dikhta Nahi Hon

>Mat Pocho Main Kitna Sahi Hon

>Kyun Ek Jaga Tikta Nahi Hon

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Not looking for pity, just wanted to vent. I am already better, jaake mom se sorry bol aaya, wo khush rahein is easier, meri to aadat hai, I can fake a smile and calm myself anytime. I hate being a burden, I don't ask for help, I don't like venting either. Aaj thoda zyaada dukhi hun bas, upar se Ganja phirse chod diya, scared of it becoming a habit.

Good night folks. Bas itna hi aaj ke liye. Raat dhal jaayegi to dard bhi kam ho jaayega. Thread ko marne mat dena mere randi rone ke baad. Also, Ill remove this comment before sleeping.