My first grandparent to go was killed unexpectedly in a hunting accident in his early sixties. We were all shocked and devastated, my grandma and him had been married since their teens. About a year later, at her 50th high school reunion, she met Paul, whose ex-wife had recently left him for another woman after ~40 years of marriage. They reconnected, Paul moved in, we love him. This was like 20 years ago? I’m the oldest set of grandkids and the only one who remembers Grandpa Don, the younger ones know pictures and we say an extra prayer at Christmas for him. Paul is just Paul to me, but my younger cousins call him Grandpa Paul and he brings so much joy to our family. And yes, my Grandma is still very close with her SIL and the rest of her ILs.

My other side....my Grandma died of slow stomach disease. My Grandpa’s new girlfriend was at the funeral. She sat at the table and commented as my sister and I picked out jewelry we wanted to remember my Grandma by from her collection. Until I asked her to leave the table. I don’t even remember her name, haven’t seen that Grandpa or lady since.

You have a Paul. It’s ok and your family (yes, even the ILs) will understand if they love you :)