Just stop ok. You're self aware, that's half of the victory right there buddy :) Half of the people here are self-absorbed privaleged fucks who dont care abt ur post. And neither do I. But something that struck a chord with me was the fact that you know all of this about you. SO now just go and change ? Like yes, easier said then done but need I remind you that the world is on literal fire. Teach poor kids through zoom, make food for the homeless, start writing a blog, start coding, make a github account. Listen man, geniuses aren't created in a vaccum, and you aren't either. Fuck those ISEF achievers and start caring abt u! Do one thing and do it well and you'll blow those privalaged idiots into the dust. COVID has opened a plethora of opportunities you can exploit for ur own benifit. Make a vaccine databanl for your locality ?
None of this sounds easy but it is the way it is. Genuises dont exist in a vaccum and neither do you. So just go out, pullup a book and ideate ways to mke ur life a bit more exciting. Not something ground breaking. Dont fake/finese it; be honest and u'll be proud. I hope this helped. Fin.