Metal as Fuck

I play in a small but fairly popular underground metal band.... popular enough we get to travel, not popular enough to make any money.

What you said is sadly true.

The bars are shitty and full of un-kept dudes with dirty, stringy hair and shitty beards, most of which are single and cry on Facebook about how nobody loves them (usually with a metal tone to it -- "fuck everybody, who needs a bunch of trendy whores in their life anyway?").

The only thing keeping those guys from liking My Little Pony is the fact that My Little Pony is somewhat popular. Everybody is too cool to enjoy anything popular.

One guy even wears a top hat and a trench coat... and he's always bragging about how he knows everything ever when it comes to music theory and posting conspiracy theory bullshit because he's so much smarter then everybody else. He's a genius, according to him. If Mensa wasn't some sell-out fraud coverup, he would be a part of them. Also, apparently there is a crystal pyramid at the bottom of the Bermuda Triangle that takes in the water from the current and converts it to some form of electricity that the aliens use to power their spaceships when they visit Earth; which they do all the time.. he even totally saw them and everything. The mystery-electricity is why boats and planes go missing there all the time.. it messes with our current technology. Also, contrails, Illuminati, and lizard people. Again, always wearing a top hat and a trench coat.

The girls aren't much better. They're usually obese and always bitching about how the attractive girls "aren't that hot" or how the attractive girls are bitches and men are just shallow. Obviously the obese girls are better people, it's impossible to be both attractive and nice... they can never keep a man because they always go for the MySpace-Angle photos that make them look thin. Dudes think they're getting to meet somebody really pretty, but then end up meeting a make-up heavy obese fatty... so they get fucked on the regular by a bunch of desperate guys all looking to get a nut, but never wanting to actually stay. -- This usually leads to three-weeks worth of "going to the gym, lol" posts followed by pictures of food.

/r/justneckbeardthings Thread Parent Link - i.imgur.com