Hey, I’m so sorry for the novel to follow, but I have cervical dystonia that’s progressively been getting worse over the past five years, but particularly the last 12 months. My full episodes where my heads stuck to one side, I can’t move without agonising pain and so am basically stuck in one place for a few days are getting more and more frequent. Every doctor I’ve seen in NZ has written it off as spasmodic torticollis and told me I need physio, and never offered any long term treatment options. The only thing that works for me in a full episode is bed rest for a few days, constant heat packs, and tramadol and diazepam. The current climate where it comes to painkillers has made this incredibly difficult. I just immigrated to Australia and had an episode, had to go to my first doctor here and she was so awful to me I left in tears. She outright accused me of being a drugseeker because I was asking for tramadol, knew nothing about the condition, demanded I go back to physio, which I’ve tried repeatedly with no improvement, and when I told her it’s neurological (which I only know from my own research and from a single ED doctor I had once who was up with the play) she had no problem making it obvious she didn’t believe me. She was derisive of my own knowledge on the subject, outright cruel, and made me leave the room while she made her decision about how to treat me. This was despite me providing her with my notes from my old medical centre clearly outlining my condition. In the end, and only after finally giving in and examining me, she gave me a tramadol script and referred me to a pain clinic who I’ve contacted repeatedly but keep saying they’ll get back to me with an appointment and don’t. I’ve asked about 5 doctors at this point for Botox and they’ve all made vague noises about it but provided me with no referrals and I don’t know what to do next or who to ask. It’s so hard finding a doctor who actually understands it and doesn’t treat me like a drug addict. Have you got any tips for how you managed to get referred for Botox? Are there any muscle relaxants other than diazepam that actually work? Any non opiate painkillers I can request? I’m terrified that the next time I have a full episode I’m not going to be able to find a doctor who is either able to offer me Botox or give me the only thing I’ve found that temporarily l fixes it, tramadol, because now as soon as you mention the name doctors look at you through completely different eyes. Which I understand that we’re globally going through a huge opioid epidemic; but those of us in real, excruciating pain are now suffering as a result because we’re being denied something we need just in case we’re drug seeking.