You are not trying. Hooking up with another person is not trying. Make sure her finances and living costs are covered with your child and leave them. You are not seeking an open communication with her and she is saying she knows you have checked out but doesn't know what to work on. Holding hands and a ealk in the park doesn't do it. Sorry to say. Maybe if you said let's get out and we need to talk. But since you have not told her....And will not tell her. Either you do an intervention with a councelor to help you talk to each other. Or you make the necessary economic stability around her and show her the divorce papers. This here is just hurting both of you and it is hypocritical.