I don't think that you enjoy sex at all.

I don't. I've never had an orgasm with him. He's never gotten me close. Sex is entirely about him. The only happiness I've ever really gotten from sex is his satisfaction. He's a lousy lover and starfishes me. He gets impatient it takes a long time for me to get aroused and then hurts me. And he expects me to be gagging for it every day for some reason.

Sex in the shower isn't something I am against revisiting, just not at 7 am when I'm getting ready for work. Thats his biggest problem. He works a straight 40 and does next to nothing else. No hobbies except gaming and porn and stewing about not having sex with him apparently. I do 90% of the housework, work part-time, have an online business, and am working on a phd in stem. Yet he expects me to drop everything on demand and have sex with him. We are in our thirties, not teens anymore. I don't think that is what normal married sex looks like.

I would not stay in a relationship where sex is held ransom or used as a way to 'train' me.

I've never, ever used sex as a bargaining chip. I give him sex even when I don't want to. I've never done the choreplay thing. But if I ask him to do something, oh boy, he expects some play later that night.

The reason I'm in a relationship with a woman revolves around sex. Otherwise, it would just be friendship.

This is where I went wrong. In my culture, relationships revolve around things other then sex. America is super-saturated with sex so I think that is all men here care about. What gets me is that a majority of America men treat their wives so well, like princesses (and never get any credit for it.) And I'm settling for one that treats me like a hooker and the hired help.