Hey,

I started replying to this last night but I think my cell phone died, so today I'm on my laptop and can give you some real guidance.

First: not having money doesn't mean you have any less of a custody case. There is so much case law about the subject. Don't panic because you have been busy being a stay at home mother, in fact, that stay at home mother relationship is what is going to get you a move away order.

Second: You guys aren't married, so this all starts with filing a paternity suit along with a RFO (request for order) which will get you set up for your schedule of hearings. There are a lot of forms involved with these filing, but they are frequently won by the supporting sworn declarations filed in conjunction with the forms. That's where a lawyer will be the most helpful. All of these forms of available online for free for you to take a look at, take a peak yourself to see what kinds of questions they have http://www.courts.ca.gov/forms.htm?filter=PA

Third: You will have to make a case to prove that you are the primary parent, which being a stay at home mum will make a ton easier, and that it is necessary for you to move back to San Francisco for that family support while you become financially independent. From what you say, it sounds like you have a pretty solid case for primary custody, while he's going to have to use that wonder financial independence he's bragging about to pay to support his child.

Ways to prove you are the primary parent who should be awarded a move away primary custody order include: who takes your child to doctors appointments? To pre-school? To activities? Who feeds your child, who is teaching her the ABC's, etc. These are the activities which usually fall to mother, which is why frequently mothers win custody battles.

Additionally, it's possible, depending on his income, that he could be ordered to pay attorneys fees in this case. It's less likely, because you are not married, but it never hurts to ask. Courts are more likely to consider attorneys fees if he hires an attorney himself, and you are in a position that makes it impossible for you to afford an attorney to situate yourself similarly to the father. The court likes an even playing field.

Don't let him make decisions about your pregnancy. I'm a big believer in my fellow women having the right to choose, if carrying that child to term and raising it is what you want, that is what you should do. Don't hesitate to contact me about this again. My email address is [email protected] and I don't mind giving you words of advice in this very stressful situation.