I am commenting because I hope this will help someone. I was in denial for a while, I blamed myself for being raped. I replayed that night over and over again, it was truly a series of unfortunate events, everything that happened that day led to me being raped. In summary, it was on a day that I was extremely vulnerable/lonely; I was stood up by a date, my good friend could not meet me for dinner, I agreed to meet a stranger at a non-public place close to midnight. I have always pride myself for being extremely intuitive, but the one time I slip up, the worst thing that could happen happened.

I did report this incident, but I could not press charges because of one person's statement and me not going to the hospital immediately. The security guard who saw me leave the vicinity basically said two things 1) I was dressed provocatively and 2) I left looking "fine". I was slut-shamed by another woman and my confession meant nothing in the eyes of the law. This incident affected me more than I realized, then. I was having hooking up more regularly (3 men in one day was my record) to reclaim my sexuality and numb my pain. My professional career suffered from my distraction and it slowly seeped into my personal life.

Finally it took a failed suicide attempt to wake me up. I was in the hospital and close to death. I finally confessed to my parents and loved ones. I was relieved of my burden. Today I talk about my incident openly with people who are aware, especially victims who are afraid to deal with demons.

If you are a fellow rape victim, I promise you - It is not your fault. It is never your fault. If you need someone to talk to, please pm me. You need to talk about it. Repressing it is like keeping poison in your system.