Do you know of a time when Ireland was "united", do we go back 1000 years?

The notion of nation states is a relatively new one. When was Italy unified prior to its reunification? Germany? etc. Countries exist for reasons. What reasons do you think there are?

Because I think people need to really look at the socio implications over everything political and realise this isn't some land we can just grab back because "it's ours" by right, there's a population to consider , that make a democratic stake to it, and to ignore them makes us no better than Putin.

Or to put it exactly the other way, it isn't some land that can be grabbed because it's theirs by right, there's a population... nobody's been talking about an invasion anyway.

I see a United ireland as a new concept , like England taking Wales or Scotland. Just because we're an island , we've no right to that land without the entire democratic commitment of the people of that land.

Well there's no such thing as "the entire democratic commitment of people". I think it being an island is a rather more compelling practical reason than others like your feelings, particularly laid bare in the light of the irresponsible politics of Brexit and the poo-pooing of the GFA.

There's a lot of false-equivalence being bandied about, where a culture based on oppression, tyranny and subjugation is meant to have an equal footing as the native culture. It doesn't and its existence just isn't feasible in the long term.