Naw. But that used to be the sexy pet name for my ex-wife. Her maiden name was Berthafrau Napoleoniod Dumptruck Anderson the V. Hell of a woman that one. Unfortunately she was in a lunchbox accident, and I told her “honey sharts. Look. I love ya. Hell, I love ya a bunch. But I can’t be with no woman that ain’t got forehead muscles. (The lunchbox accident scraped em plum smooth) So we is gonna have to do us a divorce.”

And then she flexed her ass muscles simultaneously for the last time as a single tear dripped from her face... which might a actually been sweat from all that ass flexin now that I think on it a minute.. anyways she walked out a my life forever. Probably my biggest regret to this day. I am datin a nice woman now. She’s a school lunch monitor and works up at the convienient where it gets her a big ol discounts on the winstons. Her name is HemiJo “Lunchmeat” Polecat. I’m just drawn to them women with lunch in their nickname I reckon. She’s the only reason I keep goin after me n dumptruck split. The only reason for me to get up off the couch n pause the TiVo. The pink to my lemon aid. The black trash bag to my leaf pile. If y’all know what I’m sayin. I’m sure ya do.