(my punctuation and grammer sucks) umm not much of a school story but it started from school and it's a hard lesson and deep regret that I've received in exchange for my mistakes and petty ego.So 8th grade i transferred to a new school had new friends all from kathmandu but one guy came from rural area, he was living with his brother nearby,he wanted to be a folk singer "nepali folk" to be precise i had this superior complex so used to make him do my homework and stuff and sometimes humiliate him with filthy names but he was a good chap our houses were nearby we had to return the same way back home he used to treat me them chatpate and panipuri ,days went by one day one of my senior boys were pushing him he looked at me with his innocent eyes i felt sad for him but i joined in kicked him and told him to fuck off and well after that day he stopped getting involved with me i couldn't care less, well days pass by and he shifted to another place, i transferred to another school in 10th grade had new friends, finished my slc and one day i was strolling around i saw him, he smiled and waved and i did the same, we talked ,it was nice and all good, i had forgotten what i had done to him i told him to meet tomorrow by the old school ground and i went home and them flashback came around i felt guilty so then i thought I'd apologize and atleast try to have a healthy conversation and treat him with a good meal,i know i could never turn back time and my efforts would not change the things I've done to him but i was positive that tomorrow I'll make him happy and tomorrow it'll be our first day of friendship so tomorrow i waited by the old school ground there i was smoking with my teacher there waiting for him i didn't called him a single fucking time, thought he'd be there or else I'd leave at 6 at evening then suddenly my teacher recieved a call from that friend's brother which shocked him he told me Praveen just died on the way to hospital and his brother told my teacher that Praveen left from home to meet his friend and got hit by a truck ,i felt nothing it was not sadness i can't explain the feeling it was like there's a hole in my chest i went blank ,couldn't talk ,my teacher told me that we have to go to meet his brother or something i don't even know what he told me and all i could say was "tapai Janus" he tried to convince me i only replied "tapai Janus,tapai Janus" then he went away and then i sat on the ground, fired a ciggarete all i saw was his face smiling and after a while i felt very insecure and scared and i ran to my home my parent's asked why i was late i told them my friend died and i told them I want to sleep i went to bed i couldn't sleep the whole night i didn't cried but I felt scared and empty, although i don't believe in this heaven and hell thing but that night I prayed that he doesn't goes to heaven or any place dwelling around and watching over us, i prayed that he'd get a new life the very day he left us and now it's been almost 8 years i have moved on but yes i still remember him from time to time, we used to call him mitri beacuse he used to call everyone in the class Mitra he was a good guy, innocent full of hope and dreams. I know it was an accident but I've always felt this guilt and i always will, maybe if we had a good relation back in school, maybe that day I'd feel sad, cried and screamed and today i wouldn't have this guilt feeling inside of me , no it doesn't haunts me but it pokes sometimes well anyways my fellow friends this is my school story