[Serious] What's going through your mind that you're afraid to say out loud?

TL;DR: I have a completely psychological mental barrier of asking for help from my parents. Not financial help but just assistance in helping me plan out how I can move. I'm scared they will not want me leaving and will not help even though logically I know they would want to help especially so in a situation like me moving...

I want to move a province away to go back and live with my boyfriend again. I have absolutely no idea how to bring this up to my parents so that it doesn't happen like last time. I don't want a blow out, I don't want a fight or an argument about "what's better for me to do" I just want to do things slowly and plan one step at a time and eventually reaching a point where I feel like "yeah, this could work."

Though (I think) I'm in a better place than the first time I tried moving, I have a sort of not very solidified plan that I feel can become more solid if I talk to my parents about it. But I'm just scared that I won't even be able to get to the point of explaining my plans to them before they tell me I shouldn't be doing that and should be doing this already.

Even though I know that's complete bullshit and they wan't nothing more than to help me do the things I want to do. I don't know why I have to weird image of my parents being very imposing and unchanging when they are quite the opposite. They may not help me in the way I want them to help but I know that if I talk to them they'll offer some solutions to help me out that might be better in the end.

HOW DO I EVEN BRING UP THE TOPIC? I DON'T KNOW WHAT WORDS TO SAY OR WHEN A GOOD TIME TO BRING IT UP IS. DOES IT REALLY MATTER CAN I JUST BRING IT UP ONE EVENING OUT OF THE BLUE WITHOUT WARNING? "Hey Mom, hey Dad... I want to move back to [city name], and I would like some help in planning out how to get there?"

Anytime I try to talk with my friends about this the conversation steers back towards them because they have it worse. One recently went through a break up and one is constantly going through anxiety and stress related to a long term relationship ending. I have it good because I still have my relationship and me talking about wanting to be back in the same city as my boyfriend makes them miss their relationships and the topic becomes off limits.

I feel like I'm torn between two places that are very different lifestyles. I want both but I know I can't have both and if I want one the other will have to wait a bit before going back then the other will have to wait a bit and so forth. Visit here... visit there, homesick for a place that doesn't even exist anymore.

Anyone who believes even a lick of astrology... I feel like I am true to the gemini. Not the two faced bullshit bit of it that people like to shout out but the literal I HAVE TWO VERY DIFFERENT LIVES GOING ON THAT CLASH AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BRING THEM TOGETHER. I love my family and I love my boyfriend and if money wasn't an issue I know that it'd be so so so so much more easier but unfortunately nobody has endless amounts of cash they can spend on travelling this way and that... why waste money on a visit that we can be saving to get our own place. $200-$500 or so to travel or save for a damage deposit or rent or whatever...

even if it gets buried feels nice to get it out to some eyes that might even just see it idk whatever

/r/AskReddit Thread