Hey man! Thought I'd chime in, since I'm the guy he's talking about. This guy he is a great musician and what seemed like a nice guy but he proved to be very spineless in the end. All of this that he's telling you, he never once had the courage to tell me to my face. Not ONCE! Not once did he bring ANY of this up in person. Only through text. And then he quit without ever facing me right before we had a handful of shows. He was very cowardly in his communications and therefore it was very hard for me to judge my actions and change myself for the better. It's just as well, though. After he quit, the band situation improved dramatically. We all get along much better now, our new drummer is friendly, reliable, upfront and amazing at his instrument. Furthermore, I have addressed my personal shortcomings and feel I have improved after this situation. Basically, all of what we've done in the past few months would've been impossible with someone like this guy. If you wish to read the "awful" email I sent him, (it's very long) here it is:

Connor,

I've always tried my best to be as straightforward as possible and my final communication to you should be no exception. Clearly our personal styles didn't mesh very well but seeing as how you've kept with tradition of holding back on your side I should just follow suit and do what I've always done myself: tell you the truth.

First of all, thank you for even giving my project a chance. You might not realize it now, but I do have a genuine appreciation for the time you've spent helping me better my craft. I think you're a gifted musician and a truly talented individual. In a way, it's better that you quit now before you overshadowed me.

All kidding aside, it seems as though somewhere along the line our communication just dwindled down into you quitting the band without even looking me in the eye and telling me the reason. I always thought you would quit because you wanted to follow your solo project which I totally encourage considering your potential. I would've had supreme respect had that been the reason or if you had even given me a reason at all. But instead you gave me no clue as to what was happening until it was too late for me to change it and then just quit without saying a word to me causing me to lose any respect I had for you.

I always like to use the analogy that being in a band is like having 3 girlfriends because of its truth. In this case, you were the girlfriend that pulled that classic "fade out" in which you, unsatisfied with our relationship slowly distance yourself without ever giving a reason leaving me to wonder what it was I did wrong.

Were you any regular "friend" I would say that is some bitch ass shit to do especially considering we've got a handful of shows coming up. But because it's you, at the risk of offending you further I will say it is tasteless and unbecoming of you as a man. Don't commit to things if you fold under pressure.

Had you given me a fair chance, you would find that I am not as resistant to change as you make me out to be. It's a work in progress but I feel like even in the short time we knew each other you helped me change for the better so thank you. In fact, believe it or not, you met the best version of me. I used to be a little cuntwad but over the years I've become more palatable to the point where these days I've got some amazing people on my side so I must be doing something right. Until recently, that included you.

But you never told me what bothered you as it was happening and thus I was never able to address my personal shortcomings and improve them for the sake of the band and our friendship, if there ever was one. Which leads me to my next point. Perhaps the reason you proved immune to my friendship is because you never gave me a fair chance to cultivate that side of our relationship.

The only times we would ever be together was during band practice and that for me is grind mode. That's the time when I am working hard at executing my vision. Unfortunately for our friendship, that sometimes means me having to tell you what to do as a drummer. I know I don't always have the most tact and I do apologize for that. But the truth is that I am looking to meet goals and sometimes that means eagerness is in order. I feel it's showing results.

Furthermore, I always invited you to take a bigger part in the band asking you to bring forth your songs, vocals, mixing chops and keyboard abilities. Yet, you never showed any initiative. What you get out of the band is what you put into it.

You can't enjoy the lack of responsibility of being a supporting player and then expect to not be told what to do, at least a little bit, in a song that you didn't write. But the only reason you remained a supporting player is because that is all you brought to the table. I truly believe in your prowess as a musician and I feel it goes way beyond just drumming. Had you been more assertive, you would've found this band would've been a good place to exert all your creativity.

I understand that you are a working dude and are busy the large majority of the day which is why I appreciate you coming out to rehearse as diligently as you once did. You were always more punctual than me and I always appreciated that. Yet another thing I can learn from you. And I understand that work is probably the reason you didn't have too much energy to spare on band matters.