Survival mode cannibal changes are making my daily life harder than necessary!

Well, I apologize for coming on strong, but it is a serious matter to me. To spare you my life's story, i'll suffice to say that i wasn't always like this. When i was a kid, i was diagnosed with a particular mental illness (and not a serious one, by any stretch of the imagination) and prescribed a particular anti-psychotic medication. I also had a peculiar quirk that i kept to myself; i liked the taste of blood, and bit the inside of my mouth regularly to enjoy it. Strange and gross, i know; but i was young, and didn't know any better. Didn't even KNOW it was strange at the time, and i kept it from my psychiatrist merely because i didn't attach anything negative to it. Well, this medication stripped me of my emotional pallette periodically (as anti-psychotics sonetimes do), and cold-turkey'd it out of fear.(anyone who has experienced this feeling knows EXACTLY what i mean). Well, research latter showed that this particular medication (indeed, MOST anti-psychotics) can severely warp a child's way of thinking when suddenly removed after long use and, while i can't say EXACTLY why i suddenly looked at people as food, it's a fair bet that the medication, my mental illness, and my like of blood played a part. Could be any of the other theories, as far as i know; but none come quite as close to making sense to me. When you live with something like that long enough (nine years so far, for me), doing your best to hide it from your family and friends as if you were a criminal, you learn to separate the bad qualities from the good (there is precious little of that, admittedly), and cling to it. To ENJOY it. This is how you avoid going insane from the fear, the hate, and the self-loathing. THAT is why i have a problem with the changes to the cannibal perk; it went from being mildly offensive, to hitting a little too close to home. Sorry for the novel, but i thought maybe you'd like a small peak into how it feels to be a SANE cannibal. Which is to say, it sucks, and that i tend to lash out at people who try to put me down.

/r/fo4 Thread Parent