cracks knuckles Alright, my time to shine!
I'm 31 and have been doing Bear Runs for 10 years now. Been to TBRU (my local run) 8 or 9 times, Tidal Wave in Orlando 3 times and going again in a month, Southern Decadence 8 times (not a "bear run" but the hotel I stay at is similar enough), and Bear Tubing (a smaller event).
I'll be honest, what I love about these events is it's easy to hookup. Most couples that attend are open (not all, but most) and a lot of them will do threesomes. There are plenty of singles too, but the couples usually outnumber them. Not that it really matters because in my mind, everyone is an option until they tell you otherwise.
Sometimes you'll meet someone on the first day and end up spending most of the run with them. This is called Camp Love and can be frustrating when you want to take this person you've just spent 4 days with home forever, but they live 2,000 miles away... sigh
Sex isn't the only reason why these are fun. It's really nice to live in a bear world for a few days. Depending on the location, it's totally ok to walk around in a jock strap or less.
So let me address some of the things you said...
I'm not much of a party guy, I almost never drink, and don't think I see myself doing a lot of drinking.
It sounds like you need a drink, lol. I'm not sure how fun these events are if you're not drinking because I've never experienced them that way and I have very few friends who don't drink. Maybe we're all just a bunch of lushes but damn it if isn't fun :-)
I have a bit of social anxiety, and sometimes I find it difficult to find things to talk about with strangers.
Drinking helps. Haha.. but seriously it is tough to be at a party where you don't know anybody. Maybe try chatting a few people up on Growlr beforehand and then you have a natural icebreaker when you meet. One helpful thing to do when trying to maintain conversation is to ask whoever you're talking to a question about what they just said. People will always answer a question about something they just said and it tells them you're interested and engaged.
I've only danced a few times in my life when the moons aligned and somehow my inhibitions went out the window. I had fun, but afterward I had the distinct feeling I must have looked like an idiot.
Just your insecurity talking. I don't know if this is a comforting thought or not, but everyone else on the dance floor has probably forgotten about you within 30 seconds of leaving the dance floor... Unless they're interested in you. Which in that case, if they're cute, you should be leaving the dance floor with them.
Oh yeah, and don't be afraid to close the deal quickly. Saying "Think you'd be up for some playtime up in my room?" or something similar can close that deal immediately. And if you get a "no thanks" then that's a good thing too because then you won't waste any more time chasing that person.
And dress code for bear runs.
T-shirts, cute shorts, stylish athletic shoes. Really whatever's comfortable. Most people dress from casual to casual slut to total slut.
For the record, I'm a chubby, nerdy gamer kind of bear.
I'm sure you'll be very popular. Just start talking about Game of Thrones and you'll be holding court in no time.