NTA. I'm just going to say, you're a very forgiving person. What he did was essentially shake your trust bank empty. He took your collective life and emptied it. Since then he's gotten help and that's great. But the thing is, the first time he fucked up, he hid credit cards and was in contact with loan sharks and hid it all until it was too late. Your feelings of insecurity are 1000% justified. You've clearly forgiven him. You stayed. You rebuilt your life. You dedicated resources your family gave you, not both of you but YOU, and you used it to rebuild your life and your home. Just because you've emotionally forgiven him for that doesn't mean that you didn't empty your savings and sold the house the first time. His issue with it seems to be pride— "how could you not trust me? I thought you've forgiven me", along those lines. Yours is security and safety— "we had to literally give up our home and ask our savings and reevaluate our life plan if anything should happen again, I want to be secure". Your concerns are more valid. He has an addiction. Relapses happen. If anything should ever happen again, you'd be