I miss feeling strong emotions, because despite this I have no personality. Hobbies? Zilch. Social life? Keep dreaming. But with my high level of empathy it felt like I was on another realm than others. Understood things more deeply.

This also damaged my ability to write, that's another thing I miss. If only anhedonia gave me insane mental function, clarity and smartness. Maybe I would've coped better.

Also love. It's sad being a 21 year old who never had a boyfriend before or got to share love. I would've loved so deeply, if only my autism and situational mutism didn't get in the way of me having friends and others giving me a chance. Ha. Miss having a chance...