I think your right about the double standards but you also have to think about the history of sex between the two sexes. Historically, women didn’t have sex for pleasure. More or less women were a womb or a “sex toy” for their partner. Women were shamed for wanting pleasure and sex whereas it was encouraged for men. Also, generally, it’s easier for a men to orgasm than a women. Growing up, men learn early on how to have an orgasm. But they’re are women In their 40s that have never experienced it. Sex and sex education is very different the two sexes.

So I think that’s why society encourages women to take charge of their pleasure with toys. Whereas men, it’s either indifferent or sometimes negative “Like you have ll the options in the world and yet you choose a toy?”