Yes I am seeking individual therapy but it's yet to begin as finding someone who will be a good fit under my insurance has been difficult.

I have asked with help finding a couple's therapist from him but it seems like another thing I will be tackling on my own.

He says he'll only go "for me" because I need help but not him. But then he admits that he does need help he just doesn't need a therapist to make change.

He went a lot as a child and teen for his ADD which is a huge added layer effecting all of this. We'd need a therapist that specializes in ADHD since what he is capable of is different than a neurotypical.

This is why I try to be more understanding but it is ultimately just more upsetting and frustrating than anything.