Wow I am so sorry you went thru all that. So glad you got out of that. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable with what you went thru to help others. You didn't deserve that and I hope the rest of your life is everything you want it to be. Thankfully we're long distance so the relationship is online and it's only been 4 almost 5 months of talking. I don't understand why it's so hard for me to cut contact when I haven't even met him in person. I guess because he talked to me everyday and when I was anxious/depressed he'd listen and give advice. He had good qualities too not all bad. Before I started talking to him my depression and anxiety was getting better. I was off the antidepressant. Since talking to him and spending hours on a call with him my depression and anxiety started slowly returning and I had to go back on the antidepressant and even on it I feel terrible. I wanted to leave in December but he said he didn't want to end things that way so we talked it out. He doesn't leave the calls anymore because I told him it bothered me (I have left the calls before too after he did) and will communicate more but even then I still don't feel understood or heard. I told him I wanted to get a job and he said no because I'd probably talk to other guys and leave him because my life would get better and I wouldn't need him anymore. He wants kids too. I told him I don't really want kids because I have depression and anxiety and it wouldn't be fair to them for me to bring them into this world when I struggle with those things. He said he'd help out and I'd be fine because I'd be a good mother. Also you don't have to apologize for sending a long message. Long messages don't bother me at all. Thank you for commenting on my post.