I had the wrong friends, the wrong values and the wrong behaviours. Having male friends and being friendly to people meant that, according to him, everybody perceived me as an easy lay, but (also according to him) I was too shallow to understand that. My conversation topics were too shallow. Regularly reading a blog on personal finance meant that I valued that blogger's advice more that my narc bfs advice, and it was an offense to him. Laughing at silly jokes with my close friends meant I was stupid, shallow and immature, because maturity depends on the image you show, not on how responsible, honest, hardworking and loyal you actually are. Singing a song with a male friend was disrespectful to my narc bf, but again I was too immature, inconsiderate and shallow to realize that according to him. And so on... basically I was nothing more than a bunch of wrong behaviours, values and ideas according to him.