There's this pal I met in uni(let’s call him Jerry) and we relate pretty damn well, since we both grew up around the same culture and were raised similarly. However, we have been having a few spats as of late, due to the fact that we handle situations differently.Jerry's more of a forgiving, sympathetic guy and I'm a...Cold skeptic I guess.
So anyways, whenever we talk about our families, he pretty much forgives them for what they've done to him. No matter how bad it was. This is difficult for me to do with my own family(they’re prejudice, controlling, and overly critical). You can probably guess where this is going, right? We had a fight today and we both felt like total dicks and apologized, but this stuff keeps creeping up. Sometimes, I feel like he's too picky with me. He mentioned how he's jealous of people whose families live nearby, and they don't visit them(my family lives near by...). Or how people complain about their family and haven't gone through what he did and how he's more mature because he had to grow up fast(Kind of felt directed at me after I complained about my family's verbal abuse...and attempted physical abuse). Sometimes, he’ll correct me on the things I’ve said “I thought you said you did/didn’t like….”. People change man, tastes change! Then he’ll say “I’ll keep note of that”. It kind of bugs me to be honest. Jerry can be pretty hypocritical himself sometimes...I feel like he tries to hard to be “morally good”...
I feel slightly regretful for having to tell Jerry these personal things…Especially when he mentioned “Man, a lot of people tend to tell me personal things!” I don’t know how to take that… I don’t know how to feel about Jerry, honestly. I feel like we’re dragging each other down sometimes. Reminds me of an old friend I had in senior high...I always had to be the optimistic one and keep people afloat and worry about them.
Maybe we should take a break from each other? He really is a nice guy, just more sentimental than me. I've grown to become more apathetic and aloof. Not exactly proud of it. :/ I have a hard time keeping "close" friends anymore. Just acquaintances...Is it bad to just have acquaintances that I hang out with occasionally? Is it fine to not have close friends? Do I need close friends?
Damn, I’m in a really bitter mood right now. I’m sorry for the big-ass rant. I might delete this laterout of guilt and shame.