So, I'm basically stuck here for the next two weeks... and I'm going crazy. We're all broke, everyone is miserable, and I'm in complete denial of the fact that I'll be 27 in a few short weeks...

I straight up lost it last night. Just got angry that no one is taking me seriously when I tell them I need to get out of here. My mom was apparently ignoring to me "because I got mad at her two nights ago" (like I even care) so she stormed out of the room and went to bed, which prompted my dad to yell at me for how I'm ruining their lives because I can't pay the loans they cosigned. He literally got in my face and shouted, "we're going bankrupt and it's all your fault!"

So I lost it. I screamed at him that my mom had set us up for failure with these loans, that her years of convincing me (and the government) that I'd never be able to work is the reason for what he calls my "defeatist attitude", that I've made it clear this has been the most painful thing in my life and she still refuses to apologize or even believe it, that their drinking is what led to us being in this financial situation more than anything else, and that I don't wish any harm on my mom but I simply can't be around her anymore.

He didn't know what to say to that.

He kept giving me all these "what if" scenarios, which while they bothered me, I know he is at least concerned about me. I just don't want him to think I'm going to come running back because I ran out of options. I won't allow myself to do that. I can't do it anymore. I just can't.

While I was "homeless" before, I wasn't really. I would stay near school during the week and go home on the weekends. But I can't do that anymore. I'll have a friend with me, though honestly I haven't talked to him as much about this as I should be... I'm so afraid he'll freak out when he finds out the reality of my situation. And now that I know my parents are basically done working, I need to just walk away with the knowledge that it's all going to come crashing down soon...