I think every sissy the world over has felt this at some point, I know I have. It took me 20 years to just say "I like this, I LOVE this, I want this". I started to feel the happiness of sissydom. A lot of this happened by talking with lots of other sissies, hanging out on reddit sissy support boards, and finding a good sissy friend who we could both just talk sissy with each other. This started to help me accept, love and care for my sissy side, because you start to care for other sissies. You start to feel a bliss.

You also open to the idea of embracing the feeling of submission in your body. Accept painful emotions. This is the part we all find hardest. Something always fights. Most people cannot be seen to lose. Its terrifying. But lean into it. See what it feels like to let go of the argument, or the person who cut you up on the road, or that family member who always presses your buttons. What happens when you let someone with a forceful personality ride over you, even if you are right? Maybe you will even see it doesn't matter. See what its like to embrace the passivity and not always react to the impulse to defend. (Here I am obviously talking about small things, not abuse). The academy seems to include this, as does all forms of sissy training.

At the same time you reinforce desire. The academy seems like that's its central aim. Chastity helps you channel desire elsewhere in your body. Not having orgasms stops the "post nut clarity" that makes shame come crashing in. It is replaced with an amazing all-body glow instead, and a craving to be pleasured in ... other parts of your body. And for other sissies and men to perhaps be the ones doing the pleasuring.

Perhaps right now its confusing, you know being a sissy is something that just turns you on, then you climax and are left confused. Or you wake up one day and you don't care about it. Maybe you have felt it is just a fetish that eventually you will put away. Every sissy has felt this.

But I would bet money there is a deeper side to you. This is not just fantasy talk or drama, but after a while you really come to see there is a whole side to you that loves men, dressing up, sissies, women's clothes, the softness of fabrics, the feeling of other's skin and being kissed, and all of this can persist outside being horny. I can honestly say that there is a girl inside of me, always has been, and that she is fun, caring, loving, loves sex, and then can switch to the most incredibly dirty girl in ways that still surprise (shock?) me.

Letting her in has been life changing. Sexually, from a mental health perspective, from the way I react to others. I used to wake up anxious, angry and sad. Now I purr. Its like I walled her off and couldn't function without her. All it took was opening up to what she wanted and saying "ok maybe you are real, I want to listen to you". Then she speaks through your body, through a sense of peace, calmness and lots and lots of pleasure.