“As I figured. A budding "teacher" type?”
I’m looking for people to teach me and share their experiences with me; after wandering alone with sorcery for 20 years, and the only people I could trust or talk to were practitioners of other systems that got them some of the way, but not far enough. One of my Kabbalist friends can hang in the conversations all the way, so that’s good. He’s aware of the other worlds in concept, but hasn’t been. So, I’m here to learn and share, and hear others’ stories, yes. But teaching? That’s anathema to me. Actually, it’s worse than that: I have an angry almost violent disdain for faux-Naguals. I feel the same way about those who usurped the Jewish Kabbalah, put a little spin on it, and “improved” it. As a Jew, those who come along to improve the source material, have a special place in my cold dark chambers of my heart. And that extends to anyone trying to rewrite and improve Carlos. That is why I have such a problem with you trying to discredit the Art of Dreaming. It’s one thing to ‘add’ to it. It’s entirely another to dismiss techniques in Carlos’ work and say they are not valid. Who are you?
If i could, I would take every ‘teacher’ of Neo-Nagualism, put them on a ship, and let it sail around the world endlessly so they could all suck their own dicks all day, and shit on each other’s progress. I’d name the ship “The Self Importance”.
“I always get accused of what people actually want for themselves.”
Maybe, or maybe you just get accused of what you actually are, because everyone can see it. Worth thinking about, if everyone is accusing you of the same thing all the time. As we say in my family, “If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check under your own shoe.”
“I’m not a teacher.”
On this, we agree. You’re not. Good teachers allow for adaptations of the material to fit the students’ inclinations, and wouldn’t cut down a student making progress because it’s not ‘their’ way. DJ was so adroit at this, working with Carlos unique mood and ‘academic’ style, as opposed to his others students. So yes, we agree, you are not a natural teacher. But the thing is, you’re out here teaching! So which is it?
“I’m not a teacher.” (part 2) I’m pretty sure you literally have a post somewhere on this sub where you say, “I guess I’m the new leader of the group, because nobody else wants the job…” or some shit like that. I’ll go find it if necessary, but you probably know what I’m referring to it. It was the same time you were talking about looking to put a group of 12 together, that you would lead. Sure sounded like you were holding yourself out as leader/teacher, but maybe I misread it.
“I’m disaster cleanup duty. When the disaster is fixed, I'm out of here.”
I’m with Cholita: there is no disaster to clean up, there is nothing to save, there is nothing left at all. You don’t need to improve or save anything, it’s all in the books, and from there, one can learn in dreaming, or by finding an ally, or another sorcerer. That last method by the way, is why I stumbled on in here: to find a like-minded sorcerer with a light mood. But I can’t really tell if people in this sub have actually ‘done’ anything, or honestly what is going on. When someone says they stared at a wall for 3 hours and saw purple puffs of light… like… what am I to make of that? That’s just meditation. Hell, push your eyeballs and you’ll see colors you can stare at all night. Who is actually reaching the double? Who is actually interacting with IOBs? Who is doing anything? And those who are, have they lost their minds and are a bunch of bitter old men, or are they slowly integrating each experience back into reality, to live a full life in both the 1st and second attention. I just… can’t… find… those sorcerers. And I’ve been looking and looking, and even here, it seems those who can get results, are just riddled with self-importance.
“The last teacher type I had a run-in with (some in this subreddit but most on Facebook) also didn't like me talking about experiences. He thought it was unseemly and braggartly”.
I had to re-read that sentence 3 times to see if you were being sarcastic, or aware of the irony. Turns out, you weren’t. Amazing. I love that the guy who goes around discrediting peoples’ experiences and telling them they are bragging, is upset because someone didn’t like him talking about his experiences and called him a braggart? If only there was a word for that…. Man, to have been a fly on the wall in your private classes with Carlos. He must have had a field day with you. I can only imagine the tasks he assigned you to reduce that self-importance.
In another world, I was probably the person to help you, and you me. But I will be on my way, which I know was your ultimate intent when you started responding to me. From the moment I described my experiences in Westwood, reaching the double, shapeshifting, gaining gifts from IOBs, you’ve given off that threatened Alpha dog vibe. If we were in person, I’d entertain you all day, debating you, back and forth; but I don’t have the time anymore. Too old, don’t care. I will leave you to it, what you are doing here. I wish the ‘community’ well, and truthfully hope the best for it, and you: that you stick around after you have ‘saved’ Nagualism, and clean up the disaster, and that you continue to grow, even after your task is complete.
My bigger wish for you? Maybe you will come to realize that you can indeed be an amazing teacher… if you are willing to adapt to your students, and work with their unique individual talents and preferences. You might be surprised how much you learn, when you teach.
“Self-absorbed he was.“ Okay, Yoda.