My dick.

In seventh grade my school’s physical education began requiring students to shower after gym class. I was a bit of an early bloomer and had (certainly by comparison to other kids in my class then), a very large penis. I also grew pubic hair sooner than almost all of the other kids. I had to start shaving the summer before 8th grade. Where only about half the other kids had begun to reach the most visible stages of puberty, I had almost completely matured- physically. I was still a seventh grader in every other respect. It took about two class periods after my first gym shower for the whole school to hear about my dick. The tormenting began almost immediately. Barb Hurley- the hottest girl in school, asked me in front of a group of kids at out lockers between classes whether it was true that I could suck my own dick. Immediately other kids jumped on the bandwagon and by the end of the school day the rumor was I did, in fact, suck my own dick. One girl asked if I would show her what sperm looked like. The teachers heard the rumors as teachers inevitably do, and even they would crack smiles as they told the other kids to quit picking on me. They called me “Horse” or “Meat” and would work the word work the word “meat” into conversation wherever they could.

I became a pretty serious troublemaker by 9th grade. My grandmother who I lived with (my parents were both pretty much completely absent from my life) was called in to school when I got busted trying to steal a vial of sulphuric acid from the chemistry room. I was called into a meeting with my grandma, the guidance counselor, the science teacher, the school nurse, and the principal for sort of an intervention. By that point, everyone had begun calling me Meat- teachers, coaches, etc. The guidance counselor was the only adult who really knew the origin of my nickname. She still called meat. My grandmother knew nothing about it until that point. The guidance counselor recounted the Legend of Meat to a shocked room. My grandmother just smiled and said, “Kids can be so cruel! For what it’s worth, I’ve seen it, and u/picadiet has an absolutely glorious penis and I think it will serve him well in the future.” No one knew what to say. She and I left and I never went back to that school again. I transferred to another school in a neighboring district where No one knew me as Meat… until my first girlfrmiend couldn’t keep the secret. At that school they called me “horse”.