I met this kid freshman year who we will call jake. Jake was from Delaware and was one of the heaviest drinkers I had ever met in my entire life. This kid weighed about 120 lbs soaking wet, but could easily drink half a handle of tequila on top of countless beers. The first time I ever went out drinking with Jake we pregamed in his dorm room super hard and this kid was blackout wasted before even leaving to hit the bar. We get a ride from someone else who lived in our dorm to the bar and Jake sits in the trunk area (It was an SUV with an open back). As we pull up to the bar I smell this horrible smell coming from behind me. I turn around and Jake puts a finger to his lips telling me to be quiet because he had just thrown up in the back of this girls car. We get out and go to the bar without saying anything, have a good time, and eventually get a ride back to campus later that night. We park the car and start walking in to our dorm and notice that Jake was not with us and in fact he had mysteriously disappeared. We thought he had been walking with us the entire time from the car to our dorm so no one had noticed anything at first. My whole group gets into our dorm and we all start to go to sleep. About 30 minutes later my phone starts blowing up but I am too tired to answer it and dont really care. Then about five minutes later my door is being pounded on by one of my friends screaming, "Yo Meat_Trumpet, the police they have Jake! We need your car now!"
We get into my car and I look at my phone, turns out it was the police calling me. I call them back and find out where they are holding my friend. Turns out campus pd found him wandering around in front of one of our dining halls trying to break in. They sat him down and then called his last made calls from his phone. I call his phone back and talk to the officer with him who says to me, "Hey we have your friend, get here in the next five minutes or he's going to jail. Oh and by the way hurry up because your boy is pissing himself."
Jake was so drunk that he pissed himself out in public while sitting on a bench in front of 7 cops and paramedics.
I get there and they have him hooked up to an iv outside of an ambulance. I pick him up in his pissy pants and throw him in the back seat of my car on top of some towels. I barely know this kid at this point but I still brought him to my room and tried to take his piss pants off but I gave up after a few minutes.
I later look at his phone to see if I can find any clues to figure out what else had happened to him that night. Looking through his photos I found the police had taken a picture on his phone of him right after he had pissed himself in front of him. AKA evidence for me to make fun of him for the rest of his life. I do have the picture on my old phone sitting around here somewhere but It would give away too much info about him.
This was my first week of college. I have way more stories about this kid like the time we took a golf cart, or when he broke his leg but was too drunk to notice and walked on it for 6 hours, or when he got suspended from college for running on the field at a soccer game and stealing the ball. if this blows up I would be happy to tell them. Another is My roommate this past year (different person) poured gasoline all over my locked bedroom door and lit it on fire while I was drunk and passed out.
TL;DR My friend was so drunk that while the cops were holding him waiting for me to pick him up, he peed himself in front of all of them.