The point is I am a nerd who has spent way too much time studying and on the internet and not enough time socializing, and so my "emotional age" if you will, is that of like a 15 year old, even though I am 24.

Add to that, the fact that my work has destroyed any self confidence I may have had after college...which wasn't much. And I got talked into applying and taking a programming job even though I avoided it like the plague during school because I did not/do not like programming.

So just maybe if I can get enough passive income i can go do something to save myself before it is too late, which it may already be. Fortunately I have found that having no emotions makes analyzing investments easier...because I don't have any emotions i need to turn off beforehand haha.

I just hate having to set my alarm clock for an hour before I need to get up so I can lay in bed dreading work (but have a little bit of time left, spread the pain out over more time so it is not as sharp) only to get up at the very last possible moment and rush as fast as I can to work. I feel like my entire life has been trying to please my parents/teachers and now it is all about trying to impress random girls who I will never have the confidence to ask out anyway. Someday I will say "wtf am I doing with my life, what is the point"?

But no, see... As long as I bury myself in studying to ignore my emotional pain and get straight As, I am doing perfect. As long as I have a job, any job, there is nothing to worry about. I have cut my limbs off to fit in some arbitrarily shaped box that seems to force me into a position that makes the rest of my body go numb. But for now, all is well. Everyone is trying to fit into their own box society has shaped for them. Everyone saw me go into mine and they can close the lid and ignore me for now.

What is the point? A cardboard box eroded by the river of life, and found to be empty in the end.