It's actually pretty simple. Let's say I take all the things away you like. I and everyone around you tells you are a girl and limits what you can wear, what you say, where you can go, refer to you by a name or terms that doesn't fit, criticize how you behave, limit what you can do with your life, see you as broken, legally make it impossible to live, deny you the basic rights and dignity others have, bully you, and treat you with scorn. These same people then think of you as a monster who preys on others at worst or can't possibly know anything at best. They flash you dirty looks and threaten your life, livelihood, and do everything to ensure you are a second class citizen. You re constantly and doggedly told you're mentally ill for wanting to be who you feel you are. When you try to explain it to them, they don't accept your answers. The problem is that you don't feel like or want to be a girl. A change or label is about being authentic, about being who we are and trying to avoid all of this crap. There, now you get it.