She's probably checked out OP. You avoiding professional help for so long and piling it on her pushed her to her breaking point to be honest. Your SO isn't your therapist. It's wonderful that you realized you were wrong and are seeking help from a real therapist, But it seems like she might be keeping her distance to see if you commit to these changes, not to mention her super demanding job keeping her busy.

You need to try and schedule a time to talk, in person, and hammer it all out. You need to know where you two stand and where you want to go. Even if she's checked out, she should at least be honest and break up. If she keeps avoiding you, barely talking to you, and any similar behavior than you wil have to accept she's done and it's over. She's can say she she wants to work things out but unless she meets you halfway, it's just empty words.

Your relationship might be over, but at the very least continue to work and improve upon yourself.