My [26] sister [30F] keeps insisting I repair my relationship with my father [60M]

Oh OP… this is heartbreaking.

Let me be clear: In your conversation with your father, you were right and he was wrong. He did call just to berate you. It doesn’t matter if he was “just worried”, you are an adult, he had less information than you, you are the expert on your own life. He was wrong. And he clearly wasn’t interested in what you had to say, because he didn’t listen to what you had to say. You don’t need to give him the benefit of the doubt here. He called you up to berate you, and when he makes you so upset you start crying, he somehow tries to make that your fault. It isn’t. Let me rephrase what he said: “Why do I have to walk on eggshells” = “why can’t I just be unpleasant to you as much as I want without you having a human reaction”. He is in the wrong.

Your sister has absolutely no business asking your father to come to your apartment without you asking. I promise you, this isn’t normal behavior. It’s not ok. She would not get away with doing this to other people.

I know what I would do in your situation, but you’ve already said that you are very uncomfortable with confrontation. So instead on focusing on what I would do (I would put them in time out and not respond to calls or messages for a months time), let’s instead focus on getting you some resources to help you stand up for yourself more. Could you consider finding a therapist again for a while? And approach the issue not as “how do we fix what’s wrong with OP”, but “how can we get OP out of this horrible dynamic”.

Best of luck, OP

/r/relationships Thread