He's sounds ESTP. And we're just like that. I'll entertain people with Fe but if you asked me how i feel about you..... Fi is waaaaay down the shadow functions.
I'd tell you that you were sexy instead of telling you i adore you. Because it's easier to say and doesn't leave me vulnerable.
After recently dating an ENFP and it all going wrong i can tell you with a high degree of confidence that you're seeking emotional validation that the guy is not providing because he doesn't operate the same way.
That doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings for you. In fact the 'sexual aggression' you detailed is the equivalent. Don't get me wrong... i can be romantic. But it'll be with actions. For example; i prepared a meal and timed it for when she was arriving. It was perfect... i'd set out a table and chairs - got a bottle of wine open and went to go pick her up with about 10 mins left on the food in the oven.
When she arrived she didn't sit down to eat but talked to her friend on facebook or something. We actually ate at separate times that evening. Emotionally that was hurtful to me but i consciously decided not to display it. So she would never have known. And to me that's real affection.
fundamentally a feelings-based person. when i let my emotions get the best of me sometimes, he calls me "crazy."
Yeah. I can relate. It's because feelings are irrational.
he respects pragmatism above all else, seeing (my) naivete and idealism as foolish and downright stupid.
Also leads me to believe your partner is ESTP. Because i react the same way.
It is entirely possible that he's ISTP - there's not enough info to confirm your partners type. But i don't think your analysis is accurate.
additionally, he often interprets my whimsical/playful nature very literally, coming across as overly serious. imo he isn’t really good at flirting with me. he is very direct with what he wants, but i need some some back-and-forth to get the mood going. i have also overanalyzed and looked for double meanings in his words before, creating conflict that wasn’t there. he told me he never says anything he doesn’t mean, but i have a tendency to read between the lines anyway (something i’m trying to cut back on). our different modes of communication causes a lot of misunderstanding.
This is exactly what i would expect to hear from INFP dating an ESTP. You have different modes of function across the board. That doesn't mean you're incompatible... but it means that both of you would have to learn to accommodate the other.
It's a challenging relationship but you stand to learn a lot from each other.
i’m used to talking to my SO all the time, using pet names, sending/receiving good morning and night texts, hugs, flowers, cards, etc.
My ex wanted to do this good morning and good night thing too. I found it disingenuous.
but i know he does care: he has cancelled meetings to talk to me on the phone, worked around his schedule to make time for me, given me undivided attention in person, etc. i’m hoping that i can shift my perspective; at the moment, he comes across as cold, judgmental, and domineering to me. i want to learn more about the entj mindset in order to be more understanding and patient.
Well ... first i would try to confirm his typing. ENTJ and ESTP do behave very similarly. He's clearly not ESTJ since you have communication issues. It makes more sense for me to assume those communication issues are due to functional expression.
And i would expect you to have disregarded ESTP based on the circle jerk stereotype (which is inaccurate).
it stresses me out because i wonder why he even hangs around me if there's so much about my personality that doesn’t align with his. i get the impression that, since he doesn’t really respect my viewpoints, he’s just after my body.
If i'm correct then he will find you constantly surprising and mysterious. He doesn't understand you - and to an ESTP that is a challenge! We like those.
I don't want to tell you that this is offensive. You've considered him driven by sex alone without considering how
i would love some advice or general insight on how you guys operate. is he a staple entj or is he playing me? am i being unreasonable by wanting more from him? how can i reach common ground with him and have him be more emotive around me? is this relationship just doomed because of our differences?
Why don't you show him this thread? I find that xNFP are terrible at conveying how they actually feel. I mean sure.. i can get the general gist of it... you're frustrated. But without this thread and the time you've taken to write stuff down i;m not sure i would have grasped the situation.