I'm not sure what to think of this. I spent six years believing I was an INFP. I no longer think I'm an INFP. At first I was doubting it because I thought I didn't use much Ne (since I don't feel like I'm consistently good at coming up with ideas). Still not sure I use much Ne, but the bigger issue is that I realized I don't actually spend that much time thinking about my feelings, so surely I'm not Fi-dom. I guess maybe I just relate to inferior Te because of the overlap between inferior Te and certain issues that are common among people who were neglected as children? Of course, emotional neglect could also possibly explain why I don't think about my feelings as much as a typical Fi-dom. Or it could be that I just THINK that I don't spend that much time thinking about my feelings. I'm not sure I can trust my own perception of my thoughts, feelings, or behavior. But when my therapist asked me how I felt about something, I said I didn't know, but that I guess someone would typically feel a particular way, and then she was like, "But how do YOU feel?" and I ended up just saying I felt the way I figured I should feel. That really doesn't sound remotely Fi-ish, does it? But I think I thought about my feelings a lot in middle school. Or at least I wrote about them in my diary. But maybe I really WASN'T thinking about them a lot. I mean, before things got REALLY bad in eighth grade, I was usually distracting myself from my feelings of despair by reading or talking too much and acting hyper and happy and random.

But what type could I be? What my therapist described me doing sounds like Ti, I guess. My best friend thinks that I use Fi, though. He also says I'm very analytical. Maybe my judging functions are actually in the middle of my function stack, which would explain why I apparently use enough logic to be mistaken for a thinker sometimes? But then what's my dominant function? Definitely not Se. I don't think I can be Ne-dom. In addition to the fact that I feel like I'm NOT good at coming up with lots of ideas, I think I use too much Si. But I might be wrong about what Ne looks like, or I might just not be able to see it in myself. I mean, I guess I'm using Ne right now because I'm talking about all these possibilities, but am I USUALLY like this, or is it this a stress response or something? But it would be a stress response if I was Si-dom, and I'm pretty sure I'm not Si-dom. I'm very messy and I don't really have a routine. Maybe I'm overestimating how much I use Si. Or maybe there are other factors that contribute to me using more Si than a Ne-dom typically would. I mean, I spent over five years on antipsychotics (I got misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder), and I have seen anecdotal evidence that antipsychotics affect one's ability to use intuition. Perhaps being on antipsychotics from age 15½ to age 21 forced me to develop Si.

Or I could be mistaking a mental issue unrelated to type for Si. I spent many years constantly beating myself up for everything I ever did wrong. I assumed it was a Fi-Si loop, which is why I thought I was an INFP. But that's not the only example of me appearing to use Si. Like, when I was walking around in the woods, I thought back to spending summer days exploring the woods as a child. Stuff in the present reminds me of things in the past. That's Si, isn't it? And when I'm cooking, I almost never try to get creative. I just follow recipes to the letter. (I do like trying new recipes all the time, though. I cook dinner twice a week and I used to frequently try two new recipes in a week, but my dad didn't like that I was doing that all the time, so now I usually cook one new recipe and one recipe I've made before.) And I like having clear rules and guidelines in general. And I'd generally rather use familiar methods to do something than try a new approach because it's safer. But I'm an enneagram type 6 (probably), so maybe that's why?

A friend of mine who still thinks I'm an INFP thinks that I'm more likely to be a Fi-Si INFP (if that's actually a thing, which he thinks it is) than a typical Fi-Ne INFP, but maybe he's just wrong. Or maybe it's just that he's seeing me when I'm not doing that well and assuming. When I was 20, I had this other friend who was really knowledgeable about MBTI, and one night we were doing a video call and it was a few hours after I was supposed to take my medication and I still hadn't taken it, so I started acting differently. He seemed surprised by the change in my behavior, and I was also surprised and asked if I seemed to be acting differently. He said yes, but it was good. Then I realized I'd forgotten to take my medication and it was starting to wear off and I was like, "Congratulations, you just met a toned-down version of middle school me." I assumed I was starting to become hypomanic, since my psychiatrist had brainwashed me into believing that my rare moments of normalcy were actually hypomania. We discussed it the next day and he said that I was using more Ne and had basically almost turned into Pinkie Pie. Maybe I shouldn't be dismissing the possibility of being Ne-dom. Idk. In any case, I'm certainly not Si-dom or Si-aux. And my best friend thinks that I use Ne, not Ni. But I also once had a friend who said that I seem like a J because I like to know what I'm getting into before trying new things. But that was while I was still on that medication, and it could also just be because I'm a 6?

Anyway, anyone have any thoughts?