I dreamt last night of being philosophical, talking about what is essential in life, observing people, real life people from a distance, this people, are poor, earning a living just to get by every meal. In that moment I thought to myself, how can this people live like this, How can people get through life. Right then and there I see an altar and one of those people are carressing the figure of the crucifix while he whispered(idk if he really whispered this or i thought it within myself) "God Provides" and then a haze.

And I found myself on my childhood home, the sun is up, but there is a bleakness with the day, it feels like there is something really off. That is when I met him, an other self, a cocky, pretentious self, I really wanna punch that bastard in the face, I felt that I am bound to hate him no matter what, its like looking in the mirror, but that mirror represents the best cunning you, the you who is ignorant but believes everything is possible, The you who lost all cares. he said along the lines of, "you just gotta know how a nut nuts( its much more profound in my dream, i just cant remember the exact phrase he said )" just to point out that you can fake it, til you make it. he also blurted out lies that you don't need education, as long as you believe in yourself ( It came across to me as "earth is flat" because I believe in myself.) another haze in my memory, it like being drunk without the alcohol but with all the black out, and carefully piecing your story how you end up in here after you wake up, this is what it feels now.

I found myself in the backyard of that house, standing beside the brook, a cascade of water was in front of me, the day is still bleak, i felt hungry, then a thought hit me "God Provides". I felt my stomach closing on, like it secretes all tge remaining juices to survive, with a thundering a good sign of hunger, my mouth run dry. And I felt bliss, A sudden Euphoria, I want to prolong the feeling, I havent been high before, so this might be the feeling. I've watched docu before that extreme hunger can induced a certain high, this must be it. In that blissful moment, I start hearing soft laughter, it is started by a woman's voice and later joined in by a man's voice. At first the laughter is bearable, then they droned on louder and louder, with a mocking tune, like how evil laugh. I felt like snow white in that dark forest running away. I was so scared. The laughter, the voice, so eery, so close. Hahahahaa, hahahahaaa, hahahaa (shit I'm losing it, a flash of imagery from the killing joke covered my vision, the laugh droned on).

I am awake now, its 12 noon. I haven't eaten yet. I am on Intermittent fasting. I found that dream, so bizzare. I havent had any dreams like that before. Am I alright?.