I am 5’9” and probably 120. Maybe less than that. I’m 23. Like OP, I’ve been subject to rejection, ridicule, embarrassment, it’s so bad and I’m just financially and mentally not in a place to where I even want food or can afford the right meals to gain just 1 damn pound. I can get food, I work, but I also walk everywhere I go. To work. From work. While at work. Am I constantly burning what I put in? Is this why I never gain? I always try to eat a lot RIGHT before bed and I wake up with the same weight. Sometimes , I can see visible fat gain in the surrounding areas of my eyes/eyelids and they don’t look so sunken and my cheeks have more life. But that’s it I eat all day, all day long. Most times, eating feels like a chore. I have to smoke a lot to want to eat a lot unless I just skip eating and naturally get hungry then eat enough to get full. I want to gain weight but I feel like I need to live a not so physically active life style first. Like I said I walk everywhere, no car. Sometimes use my skateboard. To Walmart, to work, to a friends, to the corner store, to the bus station. I’m constantly active and depression makes me not want to eat when I finally sit on my ass. Idk I’m tired of my stick arms and people constantly telling me how they can break my arms and do this to me and do that to me. Women don’t even take me serious and I had an ex who said before we first ever had sex she thought I was going to drop my boxers and reveal a needle dick. I began to assume almost every woman thinks this of me before having sex if ever, and also another woman told me this when I was like 19. I’m tired of being skinny I just want to gain some pounds but it’s hard. I can’t keep the weight. It goes away